if you’re a mom you’ll probably understand, or i’m just emotionally unstable

 

 

Yesterday I had one of those emotional days as a mom, do you know the kind?  Where you tear up at the oddest moments.  Where you are thankful for sunglasses at the park.  Where just a song on the radio will open the water hose.  Or maybe it’s just me and my sensitive Stacey-ness, but just go with me here.

It started at the park with Eli.  We were there while Evie was at her last tutoring session of the summer (I’ll get to that in a bit).  I was sitting on a bench with Leo at my feet and watching Eli play and climb and swing.  As I watched him I realized that he is a little boy now (I’m a little slow).  I swear I see changes in his face every day.  He’s going to be in kindergarten in a few weeks.  Kindergarten.  How did that happen? My baby little boy is going off into the big world and will be leaving me every day for 2.5 hours.  Okay, so it’s not that different from pre-school, but still.  After having 5 years of him by my side day after day….  Things will never be the same.  Ever. Ever. Again.  Cue tears under sunglasses at the park.

And then we went to go pick up Evie at her last tutoring session.  Yes, she went to tutoring this summer.  She is a smart, amazingly bright and wonderful kid, that struggles with math.  For a long time I hated saying that out loud because, let’s face it, I felt like it was a direct correlation with my parenting skills.  I felt like I wasn’t doing enough with her.  I saw all my friends with kids having no issues in school and felt like a failure as a mom.  But I (for the most part) have gotten over that and have relied on the help of others to help Evie with her math.  Tutoring this summer was one of those things.  And I’m saying this out loud here because maybe there are other parents who have kids that struggle with stuff.  Let’s support each other because it’s not easy.

On the way home we heard a song on the Christian radio station I always have on in the car with the kids.  It was Mandisa singing “Overcomer”.  You can listen to it here.  It’s been a favorite of the kids lately…upbeat and fun to sing along with, but Evie never really asked about the words until then.  She asked what it meant to be an “overcomer” and I told her.  I explained that with God’s help there really is nothing we can’t overcome.  It means if you don’t quit you can tackle anything.  You can overcome the hard stuff.  And then she said, “Mom!  I’m an overcomer!  With my math!  I’m overcoming my math.”.  Waterworks.  In the car.  For the remainder of the song.

I imagine I’ll have plenty of more days like this as a mom.  First grade…I can’t even go there.  Multiplication and division.  Lord help me.  But every time I cry I’m thankful for the chance to feel and I love that emotion of loving my kids so deeply that I just can’t hold the tears in.

 

 

Post edit:

Don’t feel bad for Leo.  He had just had a run with D.  He was tired and inside cooling off and getting hydrated.  Don’t worry.  He’s usually with us on the porch :)

Heather - I love this and you and your girl and I could easily have a contest with you for who cries the most. xoxo

tracey - Yes, I really do see changes in Eli too. He’s really grown! I get sad for you. Enjoy the last few bits of summer!

gina - i am so with you my friend,

xoxo

Nikki Sinclair - Yep. Get it. Last night was the last night of our summer vacation week. That means sending Jacob off to kindergarten is around the corner and we now have to move into school mode. Jacob and I are both slow movers in the morning. Uh-oh. Anxious. All the best my friend!

Jessica - Wishing you all the best as you start your school season; I hope it goes smoothly for you as much as is possible! I feel happy to know you aren’t starting till September, as that’s the way I remember it being from my childhood. Here they start Monday the 19th. It seems much too early! I’m also glad to hear Eli will get a part day at school, rather than the full days the Kindergarteners get here.

Rosanna - I was curious, yet hesitant to read your post- only because I didn’t want to cry…(which yes, I am) Stacey, I very much enjoy reading your blogs and your photos. You are one of my favorite authors! ;) I have not been blessed with children yet, but if I am, I hope I capture their moments as you do !

Andrea - You’re lucky you have two really great kids.
Sorry you had a bad day. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

michelle - Your title to this post had me laughing!! I love you and your every ready tears and sensitiveness. I much prefer a friend with DEEP DEEP feelings to a friend with NO feelings. :)

And Evie’s comment about being an overcomer… BEAUTY. I was a kid who struggled with math but my parents just sort of helped me get past the big struggle with subtraction in 3rd grade but I still always held on to “not being good at math.” I wish they had been as proactive as you are being. And I agree that in those areas where our kids struggle (or excel for that matter) they benefit from help outside of only their parents. I’ve seen it with my own kids in math, ballet, swimming, running, over and over again. The world is full of teachers and broadening our kids exposure to those teachers can be a huge benefit.

I love this post. I love seeing your porch. And I want desperately to open the screen door and let Leo out.

Who let the dogs out??
It was Me. ;)

Your email is never published or shared. Required fields are marked *

*

*